In Case Of An Emergency

by Coffinshaker on March 16, 2012 at 12:00 am

Well, I for one welcome our new ______ overlords!

So the CDC (Center For Disease Control) released another community bulletin about how to deal with the problems facing us today, like zombies or giant global disasters.  This time is the topic of dealing with space invaders!  Now, some might say it’s a bit unusual or just a waste of time for our governmental bodies to be making procedures for epidemics localized only to your favorite “B”-movie, but I disagree!  Having preparedness for anything and everything is essential to the future survival of the Human race.  Now I’m not talking about stocking up on a 10 year supply of baked beans and tin foil hats that you keep in your nuclear bunker you made in your closet… No, I’m talking about sets of helpful tips for the general public to access before, during, and after any kind of threatening event.  It’s good to know what to do so that you can calmly and collectedly deal with any situation without panicking and possibly causing even more problems.  I know those pre-flight tutorials we all hate sitting through are redundant at best, but I bet that any one of you can tell me the proper process should there be a sudden loss of cabin pressure!!  Stuff like that seems second nature to us, and it should!  In that instance you would know how to keep safe.

So when we start rolling through some of the less probable events, they seem trivial or just laughable to us, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous.  Now, I said “probable” for a reason.  We don’t know if we are alone in the universe, but depending on how you look at the Drake equation, we could be in a world of hurt if we are not prepared for meeting up with an extra-terrestrial species.  My only concern here with this report from the CDC as opposed to the zombie invasion one, is that it seems less serious than the previously mentioned.  It basically tells us to just roll over and let them have at it, and on the surface, that’s just bad advice.

Here’s the issue here, supposing we meet up with some alien race in the near future, the general public will completely lose their minds!  Without some sort of unified plan, I’m sure the majority of us would reach for our shotguns and start wildly firing into the air.  Lord help us if there’s a sci-fi con happening at the same time… poor poor cosplayers…  but they knew the risks.  Anyways, surely there would be an excess of panic.  I’d say the best procedure would be to stay indoors, watch the news, and to make sure everybody knows to stay calm and not act out.  It could be a whole diplomatic mess if people started getting involved.  On the other hand, it’s also not a bad idea for people to know how to properly defend themselves and survive without provisions.  It would also probably align well with how to deal with modern day wartime invasionary procedures, like readiness for biological, radioactive, or chemical attacks; though the biggest threat would be via biological and that’s where the CDC can really shine.

But you know, maybe there is something to the whimsical nature of the CDC’s response to this issue, in that when faced with a threat from an alien species, throwing in the towel is probably the best and only option given our current state of technology.  Yeah, we’ve come a long way from throwing twigs, rocks, and other more primitive biological weapons, but if we’re up against a race that has the technology to close the gaps between stars, well, we’re pretty screwed.  I’m sure a few of us could survive much of anything, but I think Michio Ikaku said it best when talking about fighting aliens, “it’s not like most would think, a David vs Goliath situation like in the movies, rather it would be Bambi vs Godzilla” ~paraphrased.  This disparity between technology would most likely be absolutely immense and any attempt to rebel directly would most definitely end poorly.  Though I did see a program that made a very interesting point, if we were faced with such an encounter then guerrilla tactics would be the best.  That is to say, it’s not a mission to win the war through brute force, rather win by default by making it nearly impossible for the other side to make any progress.  As in, be a pain in the butt as much as possible so it just because so uneconomically feasible that they just give up.  So… that’s my plan!  Punking aliens until they leave.  >)

Source: CDC

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