There!  I saved you 2 hours.  >)

So right, Battle: Los Angeles Caught this on the cable thingy the other day and figured I’d see what all the commotion was about.  Of course, it did live up to expectations as one really really weird movie.  Not in a good way though.

Here’s the thing folks, I know it’s all posh now to film your movies in a gritty Radio Shack handy cam way with all the action mostly inferred, but seriously, we have to use that technique sparingly!  Overused, it just looks like a bad old spaghetti western where you see close ups of the sheriff shooting then switches over for a closeup of the bandits shooting… Comeon, it wasn’t that low budget!

That is not to say we don’t see some good ol alien dudes.  Um… From afar… in the dust.  Ok, that’s a bit overdramatic, but not by much.  We only get to see them up close and personal briefly, the rest of the time they’re in mechs.  So that’s the nuts and bolts of this comic.  Even though it’s an “alien” movie, aside from them saying they’re from space and showing a body once, they could be evil Canadians invading LA for all we know.  You could have written the script for anything with just generic combat space suits.  And don’t get me started on the actual space crafts!  They look like constructions made by Sanford and Son.  You’d think an advanced alien race would make a ship that didn’t look like some sort of junkyard collage made from toasters and old car parts.  But hey, whatever works for them.

Secondly… as if the generic “lets fight enemy X” plot wasn’t enough to cause your braincells to die off, they skillfully managed to mix in EVERY SINGLE WAR MOVIE CLICHE… EVVVVVVVER!!!!  You’ve got your “I’m too old for this” leader who JUST put in his papers to retire (like a day before the attacks).  Then your brooding soldier who lost his brother because of said leader and all the angst that comes with it.  And don’t forget your bad babe with something to prove!  Grl Powa!!  Sigh… and more… But really guys, it’s like they were trying to hit every one on purpose.  Only problem, they forgot to make it a parody movie.  Tropic Thunder did this in a great way!  It was funny!  It also had, well, all the same cliches, but it knew it was a parody.  Battle:LA actually takes itself seriously!  Very tragic…

Here’s the thing…  I’m not gonna say do or don’t watch it.  If you want to watch a decent scifi movie with a wartime theme, then this isn’t for you.  If you want to put the ol brain on cruise control for a while and watch some wicked explosions and junk while you knock back a few beers, then by all means give it a go.  Then again, what the heck do I know?  All the critics bashed the Transformers movies and they did very well.  Even B:LA made over $200 million, which is enough to pay the bills.  Sooo… there you have it.  Hope you’ve enjoyed my little rant.

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